tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post1079745429283436573..comments2023-05-24T20:13:40.480+10:00Comments on Personal experiences, Autism Advocacy and other subjects relating to Autism written by Ben: Aspie's and sexualityAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14654700183794302429noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-42162417211790535792017-03-29T14:21:29.824+11:002017-03-29T14:21:29.824+11:00I totally agree that this subject needs to be disc...I totally agree that this subject needs to be discussed more we should connect. Http://www.thisthatafterclub.comAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14975238867120057151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-50374101457768263062014-12-11T21:17:52.157+11:002014-12-11T21:17:52.157+11:00Yes, Haarvey!
I have found BDSM particularly helpf...Yes, Haarvey!<br />I have found BDSM particularly helpful for so many reasons. Sometimes I have hypo-sensitive days where I uhh need firmer contact, sometimes I have aggressive tensions. <br />Having a safety word is such a fantastic and useful principle for me as an ASD individual, we use it when I suddenly need my partner to stop talking, when I need to get out of somewhere... any situation at all, it's a lifesaver. It means "No questions, no judgements, no nothing, STOP NOW".<br />On top of that, the community is amazing. Ben, this wouldn't be entirely SFW but have a look at fetlife.com sometime. Almost everyone there is happy to answer any random question in the most genuine, helpful way. The experienced BDSM crew tend to approach it from a psychological standpoint, curious about and sensitive to peoples needs, and very perceptive about them too.<br />Not once has anyone had a bad or flinching reaction to my ASD status.<br />I'm sure there are noobs there, but I've had a hard time finding them. sweetcrusaderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09336789278677206715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-30799070578116895642014-09-11T12:51:16.447+10:002014-09-11T12:51:16.447+10:00Hello Ben,
I want to thank you for making this po...Hello Ben, <br />I want to thank you for making this post about sexuality from an Aspie mindset. My son, 15 yrs old, was recently diagnosed, but we knew when he was 3 yrs old that he had AS. It's been a long, hard road, but we have a long way to go. It's helpful to know there are others there with high functioning AS. <br />Thank you for your honesty. I look forward to reading more from you. <br />Mom TAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-47985605584240861232014-06-16T13:47:56.946+10:002014-06-16T13:47:56.946+10:00Hi Ben,
Really enjoyed reading your pieces and am ...Hi Ben,<br />Really enjoyed reading your pieces and am looking forward to your next blogs. Am participating in a Focus Group for Research on Aspergers next Monday in Melbourne, will let you know how it goes. I August as you know I'll be attending the meeting on 23rd to which Tony Attwood will attend, then have appointments with Kate and maybe Sylvia from UQ as well as one scheduled with David Zimmerman on 28th. Hope to meet you in person at the meeting on 23rd August.<br /><br />Bees4nedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13199375742307982090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-16994199782365090942014-05-28T22:58:52.186+10:002014-05-28T22:58:52.186+10:00Thank-you Jeremy, I will take your offer into cons...Thank-you Jeremy, I will take your offer into consideration.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14654700183794302429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-42521681715404017242014-05-28T22:57:45.660+10:002014-05-28T22:57:45.660+10:00Thanks for your positive comments Evan, I am glad ...Thanks for your positive comments Evan, I am glad you relate to and are interested in my blogs.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14654700183794302429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-14280333552127651632014-05-28T04:38:57.819+10:002014-05-28T04:38:57.819+10:00Thanks Ben. I have made a request for my county li...Thanks Ben. I have made a request for my county library to purchase that book.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11850399425716666467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-10389607479578219202014-04-23T09:25:41.467+10:002014-04-23T09:25:41.467+10:00'Interested sex (and intimate relationships) a...'Interested sex (and intimate relationships) as anyone else, but many struggle with complex skills required to for intimate relationships'. <br />Check. So I became polyamorous. <br />'AS will also affect communication, both verbal and nonverbal, social interaction and empathic thought. It can also cause obsessive interests, need for structure and routine'<br />Check. Brony gamer. My other current obsession is my work and reading.<br /><br />'People with Asperger syndrome can sometimes appear to have an ‘inappropriate’, ‘immature’ or ‘delayed’ understanding of sexual codes of conduct. This can sometimes result in sexually inappropriate behavior.'<br /><br />Check. I'm pretty much always 'sexually inappropriate' and it gets me into hella trouble.<br />Been apart of the kink scene and that last one is a HUGE problem for me. Like I wanna be immature yet charming myself but due to my inappropriate-ness makes me not want to socialize with the community.<br />Anyway found your blog on google plus and I'll sub both my accounts to continue reading what you and Gary have to say.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13601002713056326200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-30651743821274600192014-04-21T08:14:14.862+10:002014-04-21T08:14:14.862+10:00Ben,
If you are ever interested in writing about ...Ben,<br /><br />If you are ever interested in writing about your dating experiences -- good and bad -- on HitchcraftDating.com, you have a standing invitation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-51067701739509710982014-04-15T10:55:56.389+10:002014-04-15T10:55:56.389+10:00I agree with you Oqobo. The basics must be learnt ...I agree with you Oqobo. The basics must be learnt first before going into any specific sexual practices. AS I mentioned in the blog the course in Isabelle Hénault book is a great course that covers all the basics to experience their sexuality while staying safe.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14654700183794302429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-13419531727477084552014-04-15T10:51:39.148+10:002014-04-15T10:51:39.148+10:00Thanks for your feedback Jackie. The topics in the...Thanks for your feedback Jackie. The topics in the blog have changed since I first started the blog and have now changed the title and description to reflect this.Also I plan to write more blogs about the topic but as I am relatively in-experienced in this area I will have to do more research and am considering interviewing various people on the spectrum to gain a wider perspective.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14654700183794302429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-1498422964930515812014-04-14T23:30:39.536+10:002014-04-14T23:30:39.536+10:00Thank you for posting this important topic. I have...Thank you for posting this important topic. I have had many awkward sexual encounters and an ill-advised marriage due to my naivete about sexuality and courtship. I am fortunate that I was not harmed and did not contract an STD. I can see the BDSM community being a good resource for adults with ASD mainly because of the focus on discussing boundaries and limits, and the practice of tentatively trying new activities without committing to them. I think the ideal resource would be more of a beginner's sexuality program that emphasizes this type of thorough communication. Activities the mainstream media associates with BDSM can be frightening.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11850399425716666467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-86902695227245451902014-04-14T09:58:38.722+10:002014-04-14T09:58:38.722+10:00Interesting comment, as Asperger's no longer a...Interesting comment, as Asperger's no longer actually exists (according to the DSM V) I use the it loosely to describe HFA. <br /><br />In regards to your comment on BDSM, if practiced in a safe environment, like other sexual practices, can be a good way to experience intimate encounters. Do you have any SFW resources on how to practice BDSM safely (regarding consent, boundaries etc.)?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14654700183794302429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-29676691613937020422014-04-14T02:26:49.545+10:002014-04-14T02:26:49.545+10:00Thanks Ben, this definitely is a topic that needs ...Thanks Ben, this definitely is a topic that needs more discussion, and Isabelle Hénault has done a terrific job with her book (which is also available in French, by the way). I'm a little concerned about the disjunct between your introductory paragraph about finding work for those of us on the spectrum, and your blog topic of sexuality. Workplaces aren't supposed to mix the two, though they often end up doing so anyway. You might want to talk about this potential land-mine from an autistic perspective. Giving the wrong signals -- through just trying to pay attention -- is a very common problem!JackieThriveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00040368062433406572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5900332721930272964.post-33221501690531608312014-04-14T00:16:00.487+10:002014-04-14T00:16:00.487+10:00Just a couple of notes...
Asperger's is just ...Just a couple of notes...<br /><br />Asperger's is just a sliver of a broader Autism Spectrum, of which I am also a part. Your blog post is probably of broader interest to all with high functioning ASD, so please don't restrict yourself to a narrower subset. I think you can address the larger high functioning ASD community here.<br /><br />Autists may find some great level of success in the BDSM community. I know there's a lot of social stigma about BDSM, but it's kind of silly consider what a broad slice of society actively participates in BDSM at some level or another. One of the things that BDSM provides that sets the autist up for sexual & relationship success is a structure to work within. There are some simple rules that are mutually understood, there are paths of progression in different areas of interest, and all of this works well within the autist's need for structure. <br /><br />Also, I don't know if any formal studies have been done on this yet, but I believe participants in the BDSM culture skew towards a higher average IQ than societal norms. Kink agrees with capable, open minds. Haarvey Aardvarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07077166280058649035noreply@blogger.com